After being in Bali for six months, this is my goodbye letter I wrote to the Island of Gods when I left her on the 16th of October 2017.
Sweet Bali, thank you
… but I am leaving you. And it feels good.
I came to you the same way I am now leaving you: because my intuition tells me it is time to go.
Six months ago, I felt that my Dutch surroundings didn’t fit me anymore, up to a point it was physically itching, making me almost nauseous.
The last couple of weeks I had this same feeling, it built up day by day.
I took a lot of new plans and destinations into considerations, and the not knowing where to go next made me at one point cry out of pure frustration.
I once again was shown that it is in these exact moments of despair, that the Universe lovingly invites me to really tune into the question: what it is that your heart truly wants?
The answer was so sudden but crystal clear, that it almost shocked me.
But somehow the answer didn’t come as a surprise, because I had this plan even before I went to Bali.
I want to go to Holland, to celebrate some important family birthdays and to hug my friends and family. And to tune into where my next adventure will lead me after that.
My guess? Hawaii. But let’s take it step by step.
There is a part of me that can’t grasp the fact I will be back to familiar grounds in one day.
Because these last 6 months Bali slowly became my new familiar ground.
I feel I haven’t even explored half of all the beauty, knowledge and magic Bali has to offer in these past months I called this Island of Gods my home.
So I will be back, definitely, for some more magic.
Because that magic always happens on Bali ground, is a fact.
For me, the island helped me to conquer some fears, some of which I have had for a long time.
First of all, at age 39 I finally learned how to dive.
Not the popular scuba diving but the ordinary how-to-put-your-head-down-first-getting-into-the-swimming pool-kind-of-diving.
My first act of going forward. Diving deep, through the fear. Boom.
I went to ecstatic dance for the first time in my life, and second. It wasn’t as weird or intense or whatever my preconceptions were, as I thought. At all. It didn’t become my weekly routine as so many of my friends had, but I did enjoy it.
I learned how to ride a motorbike. The sense of freedom that came with that, the act of going forward not only physically enjoying the island’s beauty but also mentally, is beyond words. When I returned my motorbike yesterday, I felt genuinely sad, like saying my goodbyes to another good friend I made here.
Because yes, I made a lot of instant deep connections here that led to beautiful new friendships. Even though most of my new friends have already spread their wings again and are scattered all over the world, I still feel the heart connections we made and know that will be there, when we meet again.
In Bali I opened my heart to romance for the first time in a long time. It was scary and beautiful. Yes I got some emotional bruises and scratches while doing it, but experienced healing and lightness after that. So I am grateful.
I got over the fear of using Tinder. Yes, like I thought, there were indecent proposals I did not like. But there were also interesting conversations and beautiful connections.
And well, also just some fun.
I did breathwork for the first time, I healed at Inner Dance sessions, experienced Theta healing and my hands started to experiment with light language.
So yes, it will be a different me landing in Holland in two days…
My skin is a few shades darker.
My English is filled with the word ‘hey’ because of the number of Aussies I hang out with.
My nervous system is recalibrated.
My senses are recharged.
And most of all: my heart is filled with gratitude
Sweet sweet Bali, I never thought I would say this, but I feel eager to leave you. This probably means that I have overstayed on your beautiful soils.
I thank you for helping me the last couple weeks and days, to push me into my next adventure in life.
I thank you even more for letting me enjoy and experience your magical energy these last months.
I already miss your food,
your kind people and their friendliness,
your outlook on life.
So this is not a farewell, this is an ‘until we meet again’.
I love you
The texts and words I share are always based on my own experiences and intuition. What I share with you is not THE truth, because there is no such thing. I lovingly and strongly encourage you to only take what resonates with you, to find your own truth and wisdom. Simply ignore the rest!
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In Love and Light, Joanne Aurelia
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